Time

Time....Why you punish me?  (imagine sung in a black man's deep voice.  yes, I pulled out a Hootie.  Whatev.)

Lately, time seems to be both my enemy and my friend.  How has it sped up to be so out of control?  Baby Boy is already 8.5 months.  I've got a pre-schooler and a first-grader.  And they can't wait to grow up and do more things that scare the bejeezus out of me. 

The hubs is no help either.  We were recently talking about my dad's birthday.  And he pipes up with "in 17 years, he'll be 80.  We could be grandparents and Sam'll be in high school.  We'll almost be empty-nesters." 

I hit him.  Hard. 

Ok, and then I started to tear up.  Sigh.

I've heard  a phrase and used it myself - the days are long but the years are fast.  And it's true.  Sometimes - ok, almost daily - I am waiting for bedtime to roll around so that the rascals will just STOP and it will be quiet in the house.  But then they wake up older.  And so do I.  Yikes. 

My 33rd birthday is this coming weekend.  And sometimes I feel like I'm still some 22-year-old kid and then I remember that I've got to be RESPONSIBLE for three little boys and then I feel like I've got to be 40.  I can barely take care of myself sometimes, how do I handle this?  Example - today, I drove across the state to meet my brother.  I was all by myself, it's November in North Dakota.  I have a jacket and nothing else.  No gloves, no hat, no boots - no NOTHING to have just in case something happens.  It's a ND winter - ANYTHING could happen.  Am I prepared?  Heck no.  And yet I can keep track of everything for the boys and make sure that they are almost always prepared.  How does that happen?!??!