babes in toyland

So I had a life-changing procedure done today.  "Procedure" - could mean so much.

For me, it meant surgery to have no more babies.  On one hand, this was an easy decision.  We have three wonderful boys.  For health reasons, I can't be on hormonal birth control.  DH can look at me and I can get pregnant and he kept saying he wouldn't get it "taken care of" until he was 40.  Um, yeah, that could be three more children by then, so no thank you.  Raising kids is expensive and no, I didn't want to "try for a girl". 

On the other hand though....it means no more babies for us.  No more snuggling a small, beautiful bundle of love.  My boys are getting further and further away from wanting to snuggle with mom.  Sure, I get hugs and kisses, but not too often do I get someone curled up on my lap or under my arm, just wanting to sit with me for more than a minute or two.  The smell of a clean baby.  The look of pure love in their eyes when they see you.  It's heartbreaking to know that I'm making a decision not to do this again.    

But, I got annoyed with DH not wanting to do it, even though I had THREE BABIES with that man. ;)  So I bit the bullet and scheduled an appointment.  I was surprised at how easy it was.  My first dr appt was about 10 minutes, if even.  My pre-op appt was even shorter.  It took longer to draw blood for some tests beforehand.  Ok.  Man, this is easy. 

Reported at 6:00 this morning to the day surgery unit.  Did you know that they now have hospital gowns that they will hook up a heater to?  Holy crap - AWE. SOME.  Last I remember, I was breathing with a mask on my face and then I wake up in recovery.  I'm tired, thirsty and can barely keep my eyes open.  I snooze for about another hour.  Then am sitting up, eating toast (made a mistake and asked for pb toast first, but it was just too sticky on my cotton mouth and I had to do regular butter).  Try to pee and I'm out of there by 10:30.  Woah! 

I slept most of the afternoon (like 11:00 to 3:00) and now am catching up on my blogs and my emails and reconnecting with the world.  Again, I'm surprised at how easy this was.  I'm expecting pain to come later today or tomorrow.  So far, so good. 

I know there will be times when I regret this decision, or question if I should have waited longer.  Basically, every time I see a baby, I will think about it.  I know this.  But it's also the best thing for our family, our  marriage, our lives.