Friday, August 5, 2011

I fought the law and ... I won

Well, maybe I shouldn't say that I fought the LAW per se, but more like a determined Target employee.

I'm about to reveal something that I don't believe I have ever shared with anyone.  Not even DH knows this one.  Ok, so I may have told a friend after a few Morgan Diets, but I don't recall and so I'm going to say that IF that has happened, it doesn't count. :)

So in the summer before 8th grade, I was at the mall with my mom and sister.  We had a set time to meet and I was wandering somewhat aimlessly - at Dayton's or JC Penney's eyeing the Guess? and Girbaud jeans that I knew my mom would not spring for.  I finally started through Target (which at that time was attached to the mall in Grand Forks).  I had no money.  I had no ambition.  Maybe I wanted to feel pretty, I don't know. All I know is that somehow, I ended up with a compact of compressed powder in my hands and a pounding heart as I eluded capture. 

I guess I should clarify.  Or maybe you figured it out.  You are a smartie after all. 

I got it in my head that if I took it OUT of its packaging, no alarms would go off and it'd be easy to pass off as if I had carried it INTO the store with me.  But I didn't.  Oh no, I sure didn't.  And seriously, my heart is pounding now even admitting this!  20 years have passed and I still am nervous to say it out loud! 

Enter one determined Target employee.  I was in some of the clothing racks and kind of had my hands in where the clothes touched each other - very hard to see.  But I guess he saw.  I don't know what, maybe it was the guilty face.  Or the fact that the packaging I removed had fallen to the ground.  I don't know.  All I know is that he gave me a look.  And I freaked. 

Enter my stealth evading of capture.   I walked calmly, if quickly.  Weaving in and out of clothing racks, areas of the store and I did catch sight of him a couple of times.  Until at last.  I passed through to the promised land - the courtyard of the mall.  Out of Target.  No alarms.  No bells.  No whistles.  No employee chasing me out of the store.  I totally won. 

And I am SOOOO happy that Target is no longer attached to the mall in Grand Forks.  I can shop in peace when I'm in town there.  No worries that the dedicated Target employee will recognize me and chase me down now!  Muah ah ah ah. 

The guilt.  All for what - $4.59 Covergirl makeup?  Such is the life. 

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