Well, crap.

Lately, I've been doing a lot of research.

I dislike research.

I also dislike what I'm having to research.  Which makes it all the worse.

Ugh.

How do I prepare three little boys for their father going overseas?  How do I put on a brave face and smile through it and say that it will be ok when I can't quite believe that myself yet?  Here's the selfish part of the story - I am not worried about him being there.  I'm worried about me being here.  With three boys under the age of 7.  With last winter having record amounts of snow and getting stuck in our driveway.  With all the little house stuff that he takes care of (I have yet to change a light bulb in this place).

With the technology that we have, we can talk and see each other online.  The boys will still see their dad hopefully every day.  Or at least a few times a week.  But 6 months is a long time in the life of a little kid.  He'll miss a couple birthdays and a kindergarten graduation.

So far, he's been very matter of fact about it.  I'm sure it's got to be hard on him as well.  He knows he's going to miss these things.  He knows he's not going to get to come home to them running to the door screaming "Daddy!" at the end of the day. 

But again, I can't get past yet my own selfishness.  I just don't want to have to be a single mom, even just for 6 months.  189 days, starting immediately after Christmas.  UGH.  

So yeah, I'm researching.  I'm looking at books and websites to help us talk to the boys about this.  So.  Not.  Fun.